PREVIEW
The Princess and the Pee
by Susan Meyers
Chapter 1
Seven-year-old Princess Pia Scarlet hopped on her left foot.
She changed to her right.
She bent down low. Then with a mighty push she jumped as high as possible. Just like a spring
reaching for the sky.
It did her no good.
The high window over the moat and next to the drawbridge had a wonderful view. Night after night her
older sister, the Darling Millicent, would tell Princess Pia Scarlet how grand it looked. But, alas,
Princess Pia Scarlet couldn’t see it. That put the princess in a terrible mood.
With a groan, Princess Pia Scarlet quit jumping. She dropped onto the bottom bunk. Looking up at the
window, she frowned. "I see a star, but it's not even twinkling. Could I sleep on the top tonight?
Pleeese?"
The Darling Millicent put a finger over the side of the bunk. She wiggled it back and forth. “No, no, no,
poor Princess Pees-a-Lot. Until you stop peeing the bed, stars are all you can see. Oh, look, mother’s
maid just kissed the stable hand."
Princess Pia Scarlet stuck out her tongue. But her sister didn’t see it.
From the top bunk, the Darling Millicent could see everything that happened outside the castle. In the
mornings, she watched the King’s soldiers march in fine, even lines.
That didn’t make Princess Pia Scarlet jealous.
In the afternoons, The Darling Millicent described how the royal gardeners clipped the bushes. They
shaped them like bunnies, dogs and crowns.
That didn’t make Princess Pia Scarlet pout.
But…
“The fireflies are dancing tonight,” The Darling Millicent announced from her high seat at bedtime.
THIS made Princess Pia Scarlet mad! She wanted to see fireflies! She wanted to watch them shining
gold against the black, night sky. Around and around they’d flutter, making light shows in the air.
Princess Pia Scarlet sighed, but knew it wouldn’t do any good to cry. Nothing would change until her
sheets stayed dry.
***
“Fe Fi Fooey!” Princess Pia Scarlet stated the next morning, while her mother brushed her hair. “At
this rate I won't get to see the fireflies until I'm old and gray."
“Proper princesses don't say Fe Fi Fooey," corrected the Fair Queen. "Darling Millicent, would it hurt
you to take turns with your little sister?”
The Darling Millicent shook her head. She rolled her eyes. “I’m not sleeping on the bottom until she
stops peeing the bed. The pee might soak down through the mattress and hit me right in the eye.”
"Proper princesses don't say pee," her mother said. “It’s a rude term. Please say ‘wet the bed’
instead.”
“Yes, Mama.” The Darling Millicent held her hands in front of her dress and said in a most proper tone,
“Pia Scarlet, you may not sleep on the top bunk until I’m sure you won’t ‘wet the bed’ right into my eye.”
Princess Pia Scarlet crossed her arms in front of her chest. She narrowed her eyes. But then she got an
idea. And an idea was better than a pout. She snapped her fingers and yelled, "How ‘bout if I have dry
sheets for a week? One whole week without any accidents?"
“Proper princesses don’t yell,” said the Fair Queen.
“Sorry.” Princess Pia Scarlet put her fingers behind her back. She crossed them for good luck.
The Darling Millicent grinned. “You can’t do it. So, okay. It’s a deal. We’ll take turns sleeping on the top
bunk after you've been dry for seven, yes seven whole days.” She held up her hands and counted off
on her fingers. “One… two… three… four… five… six…seven.”
“Just you wait.” Princess Pia Scarlet said. “In a week, I’ll have what I want!”
And, just like the ladies and gentlemen at court, they shook on it.
“Remember our bodies aren’t all the same,” warned the Fair Queen. “Pia Scarlet, if you’ll just be
patient, your body will grow as it ought. I promise that someday you’ll see fireflies.”
But Princess Pia Scarlet didn’t want to wait.
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